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Planet of the Vampire Women
Score: 61%
Rating: Not Rated
Publisher: MVD Entertainment Group
Region: 1
Media: DVD/1
Running Time: 95 Mins.
Genre: Sci-Fi/Horror
Audio: English Dolby Digital

I've seen pirate movies and I've seen vampire movies, but until now, I'm not sure I have seen a vampire pirate movie. That is exactly what Planet of the Vampire Women offers though...Vampire Pirates!

Planet of the Vampire Women opens on a space station that serves as a pleasure center. They have gambling and strippers, everything you'd need for the bawdiest bachelor party. One of the features is a "pleasure clone," created specifically to please. The place is full of pickpockets, drug dealers, and all sorts of other lowlifes. Patrolling the place to try and keep things legal is Officer Falco (Jawara Duncan). Falco thinks that he has a lot to deal with keeping the peace there, but he has no clue what he's in for when Captain Trix Richards (Paquita Estrada) enters the room. She and her band of pirates are there to rob the place, with the help of their operatives already in place. Pepper Vance (Ashley Marino) is in the place offering up the services of the pleasure clone, Astrid Covair (Stephanie Hyden). Candy Miranda (Danielle Williams) and Doc Calaveras (Stephen Vargo) are in the place as well, picking pockets. Also in the Captain's crew are Pilot Ginger Maldonado (Liesel Hanson), Co-pilot (and cyborg) Automatic Jones (Keith Letl), and Gunner Bettie Beretta (Jamie-Lynn Hazzard). Captain Richards is highly insane and her crew isn't much better.

The pirates make it off of the pleasure station in a stolen spaceship (that looks like the bottom part of the old vacuum cleaners that had lights on the front from like the late 80s), but Falco gives chase. The pirate's ship is damaged, so they land it on the first place that they can find to set down on. Just before landing, Richards is hit with some kind of electric shock. When she comes to, she has fangs and a giant thirst for blood. Pepper is bitten first, but manages to hit the alarm to call the others. When they all find Pepper, she's had her stomach clawed and throat bitten, but she's hanging on. They take her to the infirmary leaving Astrid with her and then proceed to search the ship. Richards left through the airlock, so Ginger takes Astrid and Bettie with her to find the Captain. I must admit that I like Astrid. Her attitude is hilarious and being able to shift into whatever outfit, hairstyle, hair color, etc. she wants with a shake of the hip can be handy! Plus, she also seems to know a lot about "alien archeology." While searching for the Captain, they find the remains of an ancient city and some eggs that a space bug hatches from. The whole place seems to be very hostile to human life. It seems Falco survived to land on the planet as well. Granted, none of them want to work together, but Falco is going to have to work with the pirate women to get off of the planet. It's not going to be easy though with the new vampire pirates running around.

Planet of the Vampire Women is obviously a very low budget film. Not only is it lacking special features, but there aren't even chapters on the disc. The special effects were obviously computer generated as well. Parts of the movie were a bit boring to me and looked to me like they were just trying to draw male viewers with lots of naked breasts and the last part of the film seemed just a bit longer than it needed to be, but even still, I found myself laughing at things like the "volt magnum" energy gun, and I really quite liked the final end. Planet of the Vampire Women definitely is not for everyone, but if you're looking for a low budget sci-fi/horror film with some decent acting (some, not all) that might just make you smile at times, you might enjoy Planet of the Vampire Women!



-Cyn, GameVortex Communications
AKA Sara Earl
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