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MANswers: The Best of Season One
Score: 69%
Rating: Not Rated
Publisher: Paramount
Region: 1
Media: DVD/1
Running Time: 91 Mins.
Genre: TV Series/Instructional
Audio: English: Dolby Digital Stereo
Subtitles: None

Hmmm... where to begin? Well, first of all, I suppose I should explain what MANswers is for those of you who aren't familiar with the show. MANswers is a show on Spike that answers those questions that men have wondered for centuries... well, on and off... specifically, when they were really drunk, really horny or so bored that conversation turned to wild speculation centering around horrible ways to die, fighting, breaking stuff, avoiding getting caught by the police, getting high, getting laid or getting drunk. MANswers: The Best of Season One is over 25 of the answers to these sorts of questions: the "Top 25," as well as some "Bonus MANswers" thrown in for good measure.

For your convenience, I will list all of the top 25 MANswers below, along with the bonus MANswers that appear in the DVD. The letters to the right of the episode are my categorization as listed above: WD (Ways to Die), F (Fighting), BS (Breaking Stuff), GL (Getting Laid), AC (Avoiding Capture), $ (On the Cheap), SA (Substance Abuse) and everyone's favorite, OO (bOObs). As you will see, some of these really fit in more than one category.

RankMANswer NameDescription Categories
25What's the best human organ to eat?MANswers asks the experts... we're looking for life-sustaining nutrition, here.WD
24What does the shape of her boob tell you about her personality?Taken from an actual scientific study. Go figure.GL:OO
23What's the most dangerous wild animal in America?Surprising answer is based on number of kills, not brute strength.WD
22How can you make your girlfriend less bitchy?Based on scientific studies, but if sharing this info with her may cause your breakup.GL
22BWhat's guaranteed to cure hangovers?Scientific study from Tulane University.SA
21Is the death touch for real?...You know... the martial arts move that causes death three days later?WD:F
20What kind of girls are best in bed?Another scientific study that your girlfriend may be offended by.GL
19How many floors can you fall in an elevator and still survive?MANswers asks the experts: likelihood, response and when to give up hope.WD
19BWhat smell turns women on most?Nope, not your cologne.GL
18Can you beat a breathalyzer?MANswers tests several urban legend theories and rates their effectiveness.AC:SA
17How can you defend yourself in a bar fight?Three awesome moves from an expert.F
16How tough are implants?MANswers shows that you don't have to be gentle with fake boobs on the implants' account.BS:GL:OO
15How can a guy get high legally?WARNING: Even legal substances can be deadly when abused.AC:SA:$
15BWhich animal farts the most?An actual case where size doesn't matter.?
14How can you turn your pickup truck into a hot tub?WARNING: Do not try in an enclosed area.GL:$
13How many people have been killed by vending machines?The dangers of trying to get stuck items out of vending machines.WD:BS
12So what the hell is a crushing video?Depravity? Fetishism? or just really pathetic?WD:GL:OO
12BWhat can I find in the ocean that's worth more than gold?The answer may disgust you.?
11How can you take a bullet out of yourself?Not an easy task, but MANswers shows the steps.WD:F:AC:$
10How teeny can a bikini get before it's legally considered nudity?Sadly, you know they've reached the nudity level when the censor bar appears.AC:OO
10BWhat's the best time of day to get laid?You might not expect this one.GL
9How can you get drunk faster?WARNING: This method can be fatal.SA:$
8How big do boobs have to be to crush a beer can?Seriously, haven't we all wondered that one from time to time?BS:OO
8BHow do you take a punch to the head to reduce the risk of brain damage?Perfect for people with thick heads.F
7How have guys gotten a happy ending at high-end massage parlors?Avoid the police by getting a "respectable" girl to relieve you.GL:AC
6Do big boobs float?...or, in case of a water-landing, can your girlfriend be used as a floatation device?OO
6BHow long can you survive in space without a spacesuit?This one will leave you breathless.WD
5Can you take the dump of death?MANswers asks the experts.WD
5BWhat percentage of girls are bisexual?Scientific study: American girls ages 18-29.GL
4How do you take a stripper home?MANswers asks a stripper and a seduction expert.GL:OO:$
3Which animal is most like having sex with a woman?Du-Du-Dugong looks like a lady!GL
3BWho's hornier, women with real breasts or women with fake ones?Predictable. In other news, women with tents are more into camping.GL:OO
2Is she a hooker or is she a cop?How to tell. Personally, if she says she's not a cop, I lose interest.GL:AC
1Who has the biggest boobs in the world?Would you believe, "61 MMM?"OO

While anything this juvenile is hard to call Adult, it is definitely Adult Themed, with adult situations and sexual and illegal activities are discussed. This is definitely not a good show for the kiddies. I do hope that last statement was unnecessary.

As for the show's direction, if you will, it seems to be aimed more towards low-brow, violent, sexist, horny drug-heads on the run from the cops. It just sort of seems like the perfect show to watch in between trips to the big house. The way that visuals are used is a little strange at times. Often, an image will be shown on screen that is not, technically, related to what is being discussed, but which helps to reinforce the narrative symbolically. The best example I can think of is at one point, when the narrative mentions diarrhea, the video on-screen is showing a series of industrial pipes spewing liquid waste. I don't necessarily know that diarrhea needs a visual to accompany it, really. MANswers' narration tends to be over-excited... too much and too often. I suppose it could be due to an increase in people with Attention Deficit Disorder, but it's a little annoying for the narration of a show to sound like an ad for a monster truck event. These last two points combined with the fact that, when it gets right down to it, this show is informative, make MANswers feel very much like an adult-themed, male chauvinist version of Beakman's World - another show that got on my nerves a bit.

The one thing that MANswers has going for it is a wide selection of boobs in a variety of outfits and activities. The show's visuals consist of some skits that were shot for the show and a lot of stock footage. Unfortunately, it seems that any footage that was was shot for the show essentially became stock footage. Basically, nice footage of a really cute girl with perky breasts covered in cherries seemed to make sense when we saw it the first time, but was reused in a later MANswer that referred to cherries. Furthermore, there is a clip of a line of beautiful girls in bikinis jogging poolside, with the expected rhythmic mammoric displacement, but this clip is used almost every time the narrator says, "boobs." While I could have gone my whole life without the answers to some of these questions, some of the information is interesting and even entertaining, but I find it hard to get around how the show "talks down" to the audience in these ways.

Finally, if the above has you intrigued, I would suggest watching it alone or with a group of buddies. I cannot recommend watching this with that special someone in your life. It is likely to cause arguments and, if you try to share some of these or act interested in them, could damage your relationship. My wife, who is the coolest woman in the world and is more of a male-chauvinist than I am, by far, managed to be offended by some of these. You have been warned.



-Geck0, GameVortex Communications
AKA Robert Perkins
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